This has been a very productive week for me. I sometimes wish that I could document everything I do, but having an hour long video of me practicing guitar isn't entertaining, which is why I was reluctant to post the first video of me painting. I like watching it, which is reason enough for me to do it, but at the same time it's cool to have it there for everybody else to watch. I don't have any illusions of getting an audience beyond the people that see it on my facebook page, but I like having it there. If I'm ever at a party or meeting a new person, I could whip out my phone and scroll through pages of my work. And when I have to inevitably apply for colleges, I can have this huge edge because I have so much work, or at least it could make up for the fact that I don't really do any clubs. I've been trying to learn JavaScript, which is very hard, and sometimes I just get up from my desk and leave so that I don't have to deal with the fact that I don't get it. I don't think anyone can get good at it in a day, so I'm not ever truly angry when I don't get it, but it doesn't bring the same satisfaction when I do get it. I've been playing my guitar a lot lately, and when I can't do something, which is most things, in half an hour when I can do that thing, I'm like "THIS IS AWESOME, IT SOUNDS LIKE THE SOUND THAT'S COMING FROM MY COMPUTER!", and when I finally get something in Java, I don't get that same reaction. Maybe it's because I'm still at a really basic level, and when I start to actually make things, maybe I'll get the response I'm looking for.
I've been getting better at painting. I've noticed that it is very different from drawing. I feel comfortable with charcoal, and after a week of only painting with oil paint, I feel comfortable with it. I make things faster, which is weird, but I strive for that sometimes. I started to read the book on Egon Schiele, in addition to looking at the pictures, and his art life was a lot about speed. At my age, he had already been accepted into the Vienna Art School, and by the time he was twenty he left and started his own career. And his paintings reflect that speed of his life. Some paintings he made were just faces and the outline of a body, and he produced so much work that if you hadn't told me he died in his late twenties, I probably wouldn't have come to that conclusion on my own. I don't want to die young, but working fast keeps you working. I make a painting in an hour, then I more on. I sometimes go back to it, but for the most part, it's done, onto the next day. It's not that I don't put effort into the pieces, but I only spend as much time as I feel that the piece needs. If I'm not liking what it's coming out as, I'll finish it early. My first fast forward video of me painting, was probably one of my least favourite days and that's why I stopped after forty-five minutes of working. I loved today's painting, so I spent more time on it, and I even plan to go back to it so that I can add it to the portfolio I'm planning on building. That's the other thing; I have nine oil painting with me, I can go back and fix them if I want to, so if the day comes where I am told I need ten paintings for an application, I have a place to start. I'm not scrambling to look for ideas, I can just pull out something I have, work on it another couple hours, and I'm good. \
I had sent Mr. Ganes an email about what art class to take next year and he responded with his recommendation. I'm really glad that I am taking drawing and painting III. I didn't think that I could be at that level a month ago. I'm exciting about being part of a class with people who have been drawing and painting for years, and I come in all "I started last year". I aspire to be like Michelle Li, and it might be awkward for her to read it, and I don't want to insult any other art STACies, but Michelle, in my mind, is one of the most talented people I've ever meet. And I know that her skill comes from years of work because I've seen what she has posted on Facebook. I also admire her internet use. Her website is gorgeous, and the image she has forged for herself is something I aspire to. I love her photography 365 that she has embarked on, and photography is something that I plan on exploring, probably this summer. I'm mostly admiring her because I need positive role models for my work. I feel it is important to have abstract ones, like Egon Schiele and Julian Casablancas, but it's just as important to admire your peers. As much as I love Julian and Egon, there is a ver small chance that I can talk to them about what they do. Unless time travel is invented, or I get famous, I'll probably never be able to have a conversation with them about their work, or have them look at mine. With Julian, it's nice because I can watch Youtube videos of his interviews, and it's moments like that have been persuading me to practice my guitar more, and even record my voice and try to make that sound better, but imagine if the distance between us were less. I'd be a guitar master and have an acceptable voice, just because I'd have this feeling of wanting to be at the same level. That's the reason I've been trying to branch out again. For the past couple months I've spent most of my time alone, working on my art, but now I've come to the level where a community is essential for my growth. I need that community to push me. I've been trying to spend more time with other painters and artists outside of my friend group, like Sarah and Michelle Marin, two people I also admire, just because I like to hear them talk about their work and art in general. My close friends are artists, but most don't do fine art, and focus more on the art I used to be interested in. But it's also very important to surround myself with all types of artists, because really all art is the same, it's just certain people prefer a certain medium, like acting vs. painting, you can get the same message across using either, but some people are better painters while others are better actors. I'm planning on holding off on finding computer friends until college. I'm not at the level where I could even understand the lingo of that community, and I don't think I will for a while.
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