Why (Some) White People Are Scared

The United States has, on multiple occasions, gone through major shifts in its demography. But through most of that shifting, the ethnic groups never strayed too far from the English center it was founded on. German, Irish, Italian are a common part of not only the white American culture, but also its DNA. A white American with Irish heritage isn't treated much differently than a white American with German heritage, and their experience and culture in this country is shared. Though these people were once persecuted, they exist with all the same ethnic benefits that the previous English class once boasted. In the case of Blacks though, they were never assimilated into that ruling class because of the generations of slavery, persecution, discrimination, and the obvious difference in skin color. Over the past thirty years, the black population hasn't shifted very much, never straying too far from 15% of Americans.

But now, the United States is going through a different change, one that is unparalleled in its scope and the reason why the white American experience is in danger. White America has been able to be the ruling class ever since the founding of the country, and has been able to keep minorities like Blacks, Latinos, and Asian Americans from experiencing the type of growth and acceptance that the European migrations boasted. But, in viewing the demographic changes that have occurred in the hispanic population of the country, and the expected growth, white Americans are, for the first time ever, faced with the integration of a non-European group entering that ruling class. While there are many hispanics with European ancestry, many still hold strong ties with their Native Latin American ethnicity. This year, a quarter of all children born in the United States were Hispanic. One out of every four children are Latino and the population of non-hispanic white children has gone from 74% in 1980 to 51% in 2015 according to the POP3 RACE AND HISPANIC ORIGIN COMPOSITION. Even though there is much variation of Hispanic Americans, as many Hispanics are able to assimilate almost totally into white America because their physical features and upbringing, Latino culture hasn't left our group. Many of us are fluent in Spanish and have close relations with our families in Latin America. As our population grows in this super connected world, we could soon see the United States becoming a part of Latin America, especially as we embrace Latino culture.

The fear is understandable. When I hear some Fox News pundit or misinformed patriot talking about closing the border, saying immigrants must learn English to be citizens, knocking down Affirmative Action, or even blatant racism, I understand it. Change is hard to deal with. But, take this into consideration; Europeans came to this continent and changed everything. There was genocide of the Native peoples of the Americas that lasted generations and is overlooked and still denied by many people. So, you, white America, are worried about a cultural change to your home? You fear that an external force will come in and make you learn a new language and maybe add a few more Mexican restaurants to your town? About 100 million Native people died so you could call this your home. You yourself are not responsible for that, but understand that the home and culture you are trying to protect is a result of relocating and killing millions of people. Conservatism in this country makes little sense to me. To conserve something like "racial purity" or "family values" or even the Constitution in a country that forced the largest change in North America is confusing to me. I get your fear, white America, I do, but please, remember the reason why you are the majority.  

Comfort

My artistic career has been a journey of pushing every boundary I have. It's allowed me to explore parts of myself that I wouldn't have even thought to go, but recently I realized that there is still a huge boundary that I haven't really touched. Style. It's a weird word to me because it assumes that art is categorized into these set things when in my mind, I just draw what I like. I have used style as a crutch ever since I started drawing. My first pieces where poor copies of expressionist art, and I used the guise of that style to pardon my lack of drawing skills. Ever since I gained confidence in my abilities, I assumed that I had no crutches anymore, that my work could be whatever I wanted it to be and the fact that it all fell into this style that can easily be identified as me didn't bother me. But recently I realized that I was using the same crutch now that I did before. There are some things that I don't even touch in art. And the reason is because I fear what the outcome would be because I don't have experience with that thing.

There are three pieces that I have made in the past month that have tried to challenge this uncomfortable feeling I have towards certain things in art.

The first is a self-portrait I made. Color is something I fear because I always feel like I get it wrong. I prefer to do everything in black and white because it reduces the number of things I need to think about. I would use color to accent the pieces, but most of my work has been just charcoal on paper. I visited the Frida Kahlo exhibit at the New York Botanical Gardens and I left inspired. Frida Kahlo is one of my idols and I had started an oil painting trying to mimic her style a while ago. I hated this piece so much I didn't touch it for weeks. Kahlo's use of color is fantastic, so I tried to copy that. Now, I feel a lot more confident in color. I can use it to my advantage rather than hide from it and hope I magically get better without practice.

The next piece is this landscape I've been doing for quest. I am comfortable only when the image is close up. I would normally freak out if I had to this, but I tried hard to make it what I wanted it to be. This is one of the few pieces I have ever worked on that has no people in it. I love portraits more than anything but I don't want to not be able to do anything else. This is great practice for doing something I'm not comfortable with because I should know how to do landscapes, even if I don't like them because in a situation like quest, I'd have to. I used to not be comfortable with acrylic paint, but after a year of working in the art room, where my painting options are either that or watercolor, I got better at using it because I was using it so often. I find that the materials that I use often determines how the piece is going to look and I don't always like that. Acrylic is good because you can layer it quickly. The water I did was only possible because it dried quick. It's a different mindset for every medium you use and I have only recently become aware of that. I can't approach acrylic like oil just like I can't approach oil like charcoal.

This last piece is one I did today. I was home and I wanted to crank something out and I wasn't even considering going in the direction that I did. I was sketching out the basic design in pencil, and for some reason, instead of picking up charcoal like I would normally do, I got a fine point sharpie. It is one of the things I dread most. It's so permanent and I'm not that type of artist. I put down something and I go over it a hundred times. It's why I have grown to like acrylic paint so much. I can just keep layering it, making slight changes, and never have to worry about fucking up something because I can always go over it with white paint. But this piece was the opposite of everything I do. It's a single line that defines areas and it's very cartoony.. I love it because it shows that I am capable of making work outside of what I conventionally make. I used oil pastels to color it in and I felt like I was in elementary school again, making sure to be very exact with my coloring because if I drew outside the lines, the whole piece would be ruined.