I made a vlog! It was actually a pretty easy and fun experience. Kat came over because I asked her to help me film and she was a huge help. Not only did she bring her camera, which is very good cause it doesn't shake, but she guided me so that I could make a better overall video.
We managed to film the entire thing, which was twelve minutes of footage, in about forty minutes. It wasn't as hard as I thought it'd be. I've filmed vlogs before, but I realized that the key for me is having another person in the room. I get nervous when I talk alone to a camera. Here, I was talking to Kat. Also my parents don't barge into my room asking why I'm talking to myself if I have another person with me.
I torrented Final Cut Pro this morning because I though the vlog could be a good opportunity to try it out. It took me about half an hour to get used to it, but after that it was pretty easy and I managed to finish editing completely in about an hour and a half. I know that a lot of vloggers like to take out their "ums" and pauses, so for the most part I did. Only in some places I left them because they felt natural, and didn't make me sound completely stupid.
In the vlog I mentioned the oil paint I bought. Yesterday I went to blick for the first time and my original intention was to buy more white acrylic and more canvas paper. I ended up convinced my mom to get me oil paint. She said I should get a started pack with a bunch of colors, but I really just wanted the Payne's Grey and white. I also bought walnut oil and palette paper. Today and yesterday I played with my new paint. The main problem I have is that I'm out of space. My room is overloaded with art, and there is absolutely no where I could let any more oil painting dry. I could put them in my sister's room, but if I end up oil painting everyday I could very well end up in a sea of drying paint.
Sunday, February 16, 2014
We Should Learn More About Computers
The cool thing is that I'm writing this entire blog post in HTML. Look.
Friday, February 14, 2014
Update on Me Then a Rant on Women
I've gone a month with my 365! I was checking out some old STAC 365s and I've made it further than most of the blogs I've seen. I never missed a day, and the only times that I have posted late have just been that I forget to post, not to draw, and that's only happened twice. I'm proud and I feel accomplished. 30 days was my original goal, but it's already day 33 and I could go for the other 327 days after.
I realize that I don't talk as much as I think I do. I never considered myself talkative, but I always have an inner dialog going on. I wrote a cross examination of JP Morgan for my social studies class yesterday and I realized that I liked it more than I should have. It's basically planning out an argument so that you can win. The person just has to sit there and answer your questions, he can't start debating. In my head that's how I talk, I argue with myself, but I never have the complete opposite side arguing with me. I also realized I like to be alone more than I thought I did. I haven't been going out much, or as much as I did a couple months ago, and I'm find with it. I spend my Friday nights watching 30 Rock and drawing. It's not that I dont like hanging out, but so often it ends up being a chore. If I'm somewhere and I get bored or tired I have to stay until it is socially acceptable to leave. I'm also convinced that my peak years will be in college, so why bother being high school spirited? Even college spirit I don't get. It's a building where you take classes, not throw a party. Back to my antisocial stuff, I hate planning outings. My friends are awful with responding, and they know this. I want a best friend, but in the attached-at-the-hip sort of way. This isn't because I don't like my friends, it's because I just want someone that if I text "my house" he or she is there without me having to arrange a ride or set a time, and have this person come so often that I wouldn't have to tell my parents I was having guests.
I spent about four hours yesterday and two the day before fiddling with my guitar. I haven't in a couple months so my fingers kinda hurt, and the cold from shoveling mixed with the guitar has given this blister that looked like an unnamed bug from Africa released its poison into my finger. It went away this morning when I woke up, but it was pretty gross before. I've listened to the Strokes almost exclusively for the past two days, and that's why I've been drawing julian Casablancas and playing the guitar. It's fun to get better at things. I found a French sketch comedy show called Vous Les Femmes and I've been watching it to try and increase my own understanding of French. It's fun because the show is a lot of physical comedy, so even when I don't get most of what they're saying, I still get the joke. And the French helps train my ear. I like getting better at languages because it feels like a skill. I look a at skills the way they're looked at in the Sims. I imagine a little bar over my head,
slowing filling up as I do things that'll improve my skill. In the Sims, going to school doesn't increase your skill and in real life I don't feel it does either. I learn things in class, but knowing formulas and history isn't a skill you can show off as easily. Music and painting are easy skills to show off, but there's nothing special about knowing precalc. I would like to learn some computer programming stuff, and that seems like a skill to me, but in the sims I normally only train one skill at a time, so that's what I'll do in real life because my sims seem pretty happy with the system I have.
Women are kinda annoying. I realized this after yesterday when my mother and I shoveled. Women are overemotional. Men are too, everyone is really, but women turn their emotion into something gross. Men hit; women torture. I was raised by a group of strong women. The only make figure in my life was my father but other than that most if my family is women. On weekends I'd be dragged to the mall with my sister, aunt, grandmother and mother. My father refused to go, and for good reason. It was a series of boring trips where I'd sit and wait while all these women tried on hundreds of pieces of clothing. A lot of the things that make the stereotypical woman are taught. My sister only enjoyed those trips because she was too trying on clothes and she was being groomed to become a woman. I sat and watched, but she learned the joy of shopping for hours from my mother. If I got to try on all the clothes and dance around looking pretty, and have people ask for my opinion on what I was wearing than i'd probably enjoy shopping now, but I hate going to the mall. I love clothes, but I hate the process of getting them. Women also have this maternal instinct, that I also believe to be taught. I love children, I love the idea of having kids way more than my sister does. The difference is that I would only protect my child to the extent that my natural instinct dictates, not to what my mother does for me, or how my sister will eventually treat her children. Little girls are given baby dolls to love and care for. Am I the only one who see how fucked up that is? You give a five year old baby a two year old baby and say "feed her and wash her and take car of her". What kind of twisted game is that? No wonder women are crazy now, overprotecting their children, they grew up learning to smother the future babies. I don't want children so that I can change their diapers and pack their lunches, I want children so that I can teach them how to be awesome people. That should be the goal with parenting, let's make an awesome person, not let's take every precaution on the off chance that our person might trip on the side walk. Your child will trip on the sidewalk, and nothing you can do will stop that. It might scare you to know but more people have died from tripping on the sidewalk than have died from terrorist attacks. That number isn't going to change. Your child might die, everyone might die, but that shouldn't dictate how you raise your child. Men aren't any better, some don't feel any obligation at all to protect their children and the general idea is mom puts on your helmet and dad teaches you to pedal. As gender roles die I am in a unique position where my children will have me doing both. I think it is in doing both that you find the best parents. Anyways, women are annoying.
I realize that I don't talk as much as I think I do. I never considered myself talkative, but I always have an inner dialog going on. I wrote a cross examination of JP Morgan for my social studies class yesterday and I realized that I liked it more than I should have. It's basically planning out an argument so that you can win. The person just has to sit there and answer your questions, he can't start debating. In my head that's how I talk, I argue with myself, but I never have the complete opposite side arguing with me. I also realized I like to be alone more than I thought I did. I haven't been going out much, or as much as I did a couple months ago, and I'm find with it. I spend my Friday nights watching 30 Rock and drawing. It's not that I dont like hanging out, but so often it ends up being a chore. If I'm somewhere and I get bored or tired I have to stay until it is socially acceptable to leave. I'm also convinced that my peak years will be in college, so why bother being high school spirited? Even college spirit I don't get. It's a building where you take classes, not throw a party. Back to my antisocial stuff, I hate planning outings. My friends are awful with responding, and they know this. I want a best friend, but in the attached-at-the-hip sort of way. This isn't because I don't like my friends, it's because I just want someone that if I text "my house" he or she is there without me having to arrange a ride or set a time, and have this person come so often that I wouldn't have to tell my parents I was having guests.
I spent about four hours yesterday and two the day before fiddling with my guitar. I haven't in a couple months so my fingers kinda hurt, and the cold from shoveling mixed with the guitar has given this blister that looked like an unnamed bug from Africa released its poison into my finger. It went away this morning when I woke up, but it was pretty gross before. I've listened to the Strokes almost exclusively for the past two days, and that's why I've been drawing julian Casablancas and playing the guitar. It's fun to get better at things. I found a French sketch comedy show called Vous Les Femmes and I've been watching it to try and increase my own understanding of French. It's fun because the show is a lot of physical comedy, so even when I don't get most of what they're saying, I still get the joke. And the French helps train my ear. I like getting better at languages because it feels like a skill. I look a at skills the way they're looked at in the Sims. I imagine a little bar over my head,
slowing filling up as I do things that'll improve my skill. In the Sims, going to school doesn't increase your skill and in real life I don't feel it does either. I learn things in class, but knowing formulas and history isn't a skill you can show off as easily. Music and painting are easy skills to show off, but there's nothing special about knowing precalc. I would like to learn some computer programming stuff, and that seems like a skill to me, but in the sims I normally only train one skill at a time, so that's what I'll do in real life because my sims seem pretty happy with the system I have.
Women are kinda annoying. I realized this after yesterday when my mother and I shoveled. Women are overemotional. Men are too, everyone is really, but women turn their emotion into something gross. Men hit; women torture. I was raised by a group of strong women. The only make figure in my life was my father but other than that most if my family is women. On weekends I'd be dragged to the mall with my sister, aunt, grandmother and mother. My father refused to go, and for good reason. It was a series of boring trips where I'd sit and wait while all these women tried on hundreds of pieces of clothing. A lot of the things that make the stereotypical woman are taught. My sister only enjoyed those trips because she was too trying on clothes and she was being groomed to become a woman. I sat and watched, but she learned the joy of shopping for hours from my mother. If I got to try on all the clothes and dance around looking pretty, and have people ask for my opinion on what I was wearing than i'd probably enjoy shopping now, but I hate going to the mall. I love clothes, but I hate the process of getting them. Women also have this maternal instinct, that I also believe to be taught. I love children, I love the idea of having kids way more than my sister does. The difference is that I would only protect my child to the extent that my natural instinct dictates, not to what my mother does for me, or how my sister will eventually treat her children. Little girls are given baby dolls to love and care for. Am I the only one who see how fucked up that is? You give a five year old baby a two year old baby and say "feed her and wash her and take car of her". What kind of twisted game is that? No wonder women are crazy now, overprotecting their children, they grew up learning to smother the future babies. I don't want children so that I can change their diapers and pack their lunches, I want children so that I can teach them how to be awesome people. That should be the goal with parenting, let's make an awesome person, not let's take every precaution on the off chance that our person might trip on the side walk. Your child will trip on the sidewalk, and nothing you can do will stop that. It might scare you to know but more people have died from tripping on the sidewalk than have died from terrorist attacks. That number isn't going to change. Your child might die, everyone might die, but that shouldn't dictate how you raise your child. Men aren't any better, some don't feel any obligation at all to protect their children and the general idea is mom puts on your helmet and dad teaches you to pedal. As gender roles die I am in a unique position where my children will have me doing both. I think it is in doing both that you find the best parents. Anyways, women are annoying.
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Capote
The news has been talking a lot about how Phillip Seymour Hoffman is an amazing actor now that he died. The only thing that I ever saw him in was The Big Lebowski. I decided to watch Capote because I've heard great things about it. I honestly wasn't expecting that the movie would be as good as it was, and Hoffman's performance was something beyond spectacular. I plan to read In Cold Blood and watch more movies with Hoffman because his ability to become the character in Capote was so fantastic that I want to see how he becomes other characters.
Saturday, February 8, 2014
City Fun
I went to the city today with Sarah. We went to the Neue Galerie which pretty cool. Sarah said that there weren't as many Schieles there as she saw last time, but I still enjoyed it. Expressionism is my favourite art movement. I don't like happy art. I don't think someone can do a lot with happy. There is more complexity in the other emotions. I never paint or draw anything smiling.
After the Neue we went to Central Park and watched ducks slip on the ice in the pond.
After we went to eat food, and meet up with Caitlin who came down from Purchase to see a concert with Sarah later that night.
My parents picked me up in the city, and my grandmother was with them. She had gotten very drunk on sangria. My parents had bought a pitcher in a restaurant, but only had two glasses and took the rest home. My grandmother drank the rest in the car on the way to pick me up. Once I got in the car she started to go on about how I never visit her.
It was a pretty cool day. I painted today after all of that. Michelle Marin was teaching me a little about blending colors on Thursday, and I decided that I'd try painting now, using some of what I learned even though I am far from mastery. I normally just paint an entire section a certain color, but now I'm trying to blend and shade and stuff. I like bodies. A body tells a story in a way a face can't. Also, I don't like drawing still life objects. It's fun, because all of this art is fun to me, but drawing my computer or phone doesn't really show anything interesting to me. They're things in life, and a naked body is something totally mysterious and beautiful. I also realized that I am much better at drawing women. I have gotten much better at drawing bodies, but the majority of models that I have seen are women, so I know how to draw them better. Women's bodies are more visually beautiful, mostly because of the curves. Men are square-ish.
After the Neue we went to Central Park and watched ducks slip on the ice in the pond.
After we went to eat food, and meet up with Caitlin who came down from Purchase to see a concert with Sarah later that night.
My parents picked me up in the city, and my grandmother was with them. She had gotten very drunk on sangria. My parents had bought a pitcher in a restaurant, but only had two glasses and took the rest home. My grandmother drank the rest in the car on the way to pick me up. Once I got in the car she started to go on about how I never visit her.
It was a pretty cool day. I painted today after all of that. Michelle Marin was teaching me a little about blending colors on Thursday, and I decided that I'd try painting now, using some of what I learned even though I am far from mastery. I normally just paint an entire section a certain color, but now I'm trying to blend and shade and stuff. I like bodies. A body tells a story in a way a face can't. Also, I don't like drawing still life objects. It's fun, because all of this art is fun to me, but drawing my computer or phone doesn't really show anything interesting to me. They're things in life, and a naked body is something totally mysterious and beautiful. I also realized that I am much better at drawing women. I have gotten much better at drawing bodies, but the majority of models that I have seen are women, so I know how to draw them better. Women's bodies are more visually beautiful, mostly because of the curves. Men are square-ish.
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Learning
So my pursuit for artistic excellence is one of the most independent things that I've ever done. At the same time, it's probably one of the few things that I willing want help with. I want people to teach me about things that never even crossed my mind, and I'm happy that today I a good lesson.
Michelle had a lesson planned. I honestly believe she should start a school or something because she explains really well. She talked to me about my composition. Because she reads my blog, Michelle as an awesome sense of where I am at with my art. She gave me a lesson on my composition because most of what I've done is very boring in terms of where I put things. When you're drawing things, they shouldn't be on the same plane, they should be spread out enough so that the picture doesn't looks flat. Also, being able to move what the pieces and my own view helps. The first try I had at drawing the tape dispenser was a major failure because I kept looking at it from different angles and drew what I saw, and the whole thing ended up looking awful. I needed that failure so that for the next one I drew I could understand my own influence on my view of the object.
I was chatting up with my friend and former STACie, Michelle. She's applying for a bunch of art schools and she's become my personal mentor. We spent a little over an hour drawing a a cup, stapler and tape dispenser she put on the table. This was the second thing that I've drawn that wasn't from my computer. Even the self portrait I made yesterday was using the camera on my computer as a mirror. I always see what I draw as a two dimension image on my laptop, but drawing from actual things ends up being easier and better. I can see what I'm drawing, and I move closer and further and turn my head to look at the thing from different angles.
Michelle had a lesson planned. I honestly believe she should start a school or something because she explains really well. She talked to me about my composition. Because she reads my blog, Michelle as an awesome sense of where I am at with my art. She gave me a lesson on my composition because most of what I've done is very boring in terms of where I put things. When you're drawing things, they shouldn't be on the same plane, they should be spread out enough so that the picture doesn't looks flat. Also, being able to move what the pieces and my own view helps. The first try I had at drawing the tape dispenser was a major failure because I kept looking at it from different angles and drew what I saw, and the whole thing ended up looking awful. I needed that failure so that for the next one I drew I could understand my own influence on my view of the object.
When I got home I continued and drew more.
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Growth
Today is the twenty-first day of my three-six-five. I've learned more in the past twenty-one days than I have in the rest of my sixteen years. My goal is to gain skill, really. But approaching this with documentation is probably the smartest thing I've ever done. I can literally see my growth. I've never been able to do that before. Even when I get taller I just assume I'm standing straight, but now, with art, I can see it.
This was the BEST I could do exactly THIRTEEN days ago.
Some of what I did today...
Is it wrong to feel proud? Because right now that's what I feel. This entire journey has been almost entirely me. There were no classes or tutors. The guidance I've gotten was mainly "check this guy out" or today I was told to practice blind contour drawing (I've decided that that'll be the next thing I devout my time to).
I have an idea of what I'm doing. I'm not drawing abstract figures with distorted bodies anymore, not because I don't want to, but because I genuinely find growth more exciting. It's more fun to see that I'm actually learning something than it is actually making the thing. I love making the thing, but the fire that has kept me going for the past week was that everyday I sit down to draw, I'm better at it. Tomorrow I'll be better, and the next day I'll be even better, and by before I know it I'll be great. There is nothing more fun to me than that. Imagine if school felt like that? I'd be a super genius right now if everyday I came into class significantly better at the class than the day before. Most of the time the next day feels the same as the last. You learn, but a month later you don't all of a sudden have what feels like a new super power.
I've never been more productive in my life. What makes me so productive is that I feel like I'm producing. I could get into writing like this because if I spend a hour typing I don't feel that I am a better writer after that hour. If I spend an hour drawing thirty second figures then I can physically see that I am better at drawing.
I have taken a break from painting at home. I like it, but I feel like it's a wast of time and resources right now because I end up spending over an hour painting a single thing. In that same time I could have drawn 120 figures. I want to learn painting, but I won't be spending much of my at home time painting because I am trying to master the basics. Most artists, like Min and Ashley and Sarah and Michelle have been doing this for years, and they initially gained their skill from doing exactly what I'm doing, but spread out over years in their childhoods with doodles of anime and other stuff, so they pick up a paintbrush and they already understand how to draw a face and a body and hands. At the same time, there are things to learn about painting, that aren't learnable with a pencil. My plan is to paint during STAC and draw at home. If I spend my STAC time painting and home time drawing I can learn about the technical side of painting at school, while at home I can learn the technical side of making things I see appear on paper. This way, I can successfully utilize my time, and grow.
I also have abandoned the idea of quitting because I don't find it fun. I want to commit to this, and I don't care if it's fun. I don't see how it could be not fun. Even when I'm doing what should be boring drills, I still keep going. I've moved past the point where this is just a phase. A phase doesn't consume most of my day. I went through poetry phase in middle school. But in middle school I never spend hours researching how to hone the skill. In middle school I never sat down for three hours and wrote non-stop. I've seen so many females naked. A gay boy doesn't put himself in front of over two hundred sets of boobs because of a phase (the website i use for figure drawing doesn't have many male models, the ratio is about 8:1, and 90% of the time the guy is this old asian dude). This isn't a phase.
I was told it takes twenty days to create a habit, and my 365 has been going on for twenty one. I don't worry about missing a day anymore because in my mind that sounds impossible. To miss a day would mean that for an entire day I didn't touch my sketch book. That sounds insane to me. I dedicate a lot time to art than just the physical drawing. I spend hours researching, and more recently I've devoted a lot of my time to finding programs/classes for the summer. To not draw anything would mean more than just not drawing, it would mean that for an entire day I didn't do anything.
My 365 is very popular. Because I post on Facebook and Instagram, I end up with an incredible amount of traffic to my site. An average of 34 people stop by my site a day. Sometimes you get fake people going to you blog, but I'm sure they're actual people because my stat tracker on blogger tells my they came from facebook. My STAC blog gets two or three for every post. I don't advertise it at all, because my extended family should not see this, but if I were getting 34 people a day reading my posts, I'd post way more often. If I were to actually forget a day people would notice. I love that.
I want to get to the level of the artists in STAC that I admire most. I doubt that I'll get there soon, but I am sure that if I continue my 365 with the passion I have for it now, I'll be as incredible as they are by the end.
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