Update on Me Then a Rant on Women

I've gone a month with my 365! I was checking out some old STAC 365s and I've made it further than most of the blogs I've seen. I never missed a day, and the only times that I have posted late have just been that I forget to post, not to draw, and that's only happened twice. I'm proud and I feel accomplished. 30 days was my original goal, but it's already day 33 and I could go for the other 327 days after.
I realize that I don't talk as much as I think I do. I never considered myself talkative, but I always have an inner dialog going on. I wrote a cross examination of JP Morgan for my social studies class yesterday and I realized that I liked it more than I should have. It's basically planning out an argument so that you can win. The person just has to sit there and answer your questions, he can't start debating. In my head that's how I talk, I argue with myself, but I never have the complete opposite side arguing with me. I also realized I like to be alone more than I thought I did. I haven't been going out much, or as much as I did a couple months ago, and I'm find with it. I spend my Friday nights watching 30 Rock and drawing. It's not that I dont like hanging out, but so often it ends up being a chore. If I'm somewhere and I get bored or tired I have to stay until it is socially acceptable to leave. I'm also convinced that my peak years will be in college, so why bother being high school spirited? Even college spirit I don't get. It's a building where you take classes, not throw a party. Back to my antisocial stuff, I hate planning outings. My friends are awful with responding, and they know this. I want a best friend, but in the attached-at-the-hip sort of way. This isn't because I don't like my friends, it's because I just want someone that if I text "my house" he or she is there without me having to arrange a ride or set a time, and have this person come so often that I wouldn't have to tell my parents I was having guests.
I spent about four hours yesterday and two the day before fiddling with my guitar. I haven't in a couple months so my fingers kinda hurt, and the cold from shoveling mixed with the guitar has given this blister that looked like an unnamed bug from Africa released its poison into my finger. It went away this morning when I woke up, but it was pretty gross before. I've listened to the Strokes almost exclusively for the past two days, and that's why I've been drawing julian Casablancas and playing the guitar. It's fun to get better at things. I found a French sketch comedy show called Vous Les Femmes and I've been watching it to try and increase my own understanding of French. It's fun because the show is a lot of physical comedy, so even when I don't get most of what they're saying, I still get the joke. And the French helps train my ear. I like getting better at languages because it feels like a skill. I look a at skills the way they're looked at in the Sims. I imagine a little bar over my head,
 slowing filling up as I do things that'll improve my skill. In the Sims, going to school doesn't increase your skill and in real life I don't feel it does either. I learn things in class, but knowing formulas and history isn't a skill you can show off as easily. Music and painting are easy skills to show off, but there's nothing special about knowing precalc. I would like to learn some computer programming stuff, and that seems like a skill to me, but in the sims I normally only train one skill at a time, so that's what I'll do in real life because my sims seem pretty happy with the system I have.

Women are kinda annoying. I realized this after yesterday when my mother and I shoveled. Women are overemotional. Men are too, everyone is really, but women turn their emotion into something gross. Men hit; women torture. I was raised by a group of strong women. The only make figure in my life was my father but other than that most if my family is women. On weekends I'd be dragged to the mall with my sister, aunt, grandmother and mother. My father refused to go, and for good reason. It was a series of boring trips where I'd sit and wait while all these women tried on hundreds of pieces of clothing. A lot of the things that make the stereotypical woman are taught. My sister only enjoyed those trips because she was too trying on clothes and she was being groomed to become a woman. I sat and watched, but she learned the joy of shopping for hours from my mother. If I got to try on all the clothes and dance around looking pretty, and have people ask for my opinion on what I was wearing than i'd probably enjoy shopping now, but I hate going to the mall. I love clothes, but I hate the process of getting them. Women also have this maternal instinct, that I also believe to be taught. I love children, I love the idea of having kids way more than my sister does. The difference is that I would only protect my child to the extent that my natural instinct dictates, not to what my mother does for me, or how my sister will eventually treat her children. Little girls are given baby dolls to love and care for. Am I the only one who see how fucked up that is? You give a five year old baby a two year old baby and say "feed her and wash her and take car of her". What kind of twisted game is that? No wonder women are crazy now, overprotecting their children, they grew up learning to smother the future babies. I don't want children so that I can change their diapers and pack their lunches, I want children so that I can teach them how to be awesome people. That should be the goal with parenting, let's make an awesome person, not let's take every precaution on the off chance that our person might trip on the side walk. Your child will trip on the sidewalk, and nothing you can do will stop that. It might scare you to know but more people have died from tripping on the sidewalk than have died from terrorist attacks. That number isn't going to change. Your child might die, everyone might die, but that shouldn't dictate how you raise your child. Men aren't any better, some don't feel any obligation at all to protect their children and the general idea is mom puts on your helmet and dad  teaches you to pedal. As gender roles die I am in a unique position where my children will have me doing both. I think it is in doing both that you find the best parents. Anyways, women are annoying.