ALEXA
It hurts to watch someone die. Addiction is probably the worst way someone can go. You always feel like you could do something. Like there is some switch that you decide to turn one day.
It hurts to watch someone die. Addiction is probably the worst way someone can go. You always feel like you could do something. Like there is some switch that you decide to turn one day.
Pause.
ALEXA
But there's not.
ALEXA
I get that it wasn't your fault but... but I have
the right to be
upset. The things you did should have landed you in prison, but they
didn't. We let it just happen and you would promise to deal with it. Is
this how you decided to deal with it? Drinking to a point where you six
feet underground and closer to hell then heaven?
ALEXA
I loved you. Did you know that? I always made it seem
like I hated you because I thought that you wouldn't stop if I still
loved you as an alcoholic. I never loved that part of you though. I
love the father who grilled outside and taught me chess. He was a good
person, and he loved me. But over the years I saw that man less and
less. Did he die? Did the part that I saw for the last 5 years kill him
a long time ago? Or was he fighting back, trying to get rid of it only
to have killed himself?
I totally see what you're getting at here, and I think the ending is almost there. The only advice I'd give is try to take out the words that state bluntly what happened. Don't use words like "addiction", "alcoholic", "killed himself". It's already been established that this is clearly why he died, and the whole section will seem more poetic if you use the right kind of language.
ReplyDeleteI do however like how you used death in the end.
"But over the years I saw that man less and less. Did he die? Did the part that I saw for the last 5 years kill him a long time ago?"
Talking about the death he experienced years ago when he gave up on himself as opposed to his physical death, there's something really beautiful about that. I think that you may want to work the ending around that.
Maybe you can have her talk about his spiritual death more than his physical one?
Maybe you can have her at her father's grave, but in reality he never actually died. Like she decided her father was dead to her, and she's giving him a funeral.
Just tossing ideas around.
THis play is coming along, and you've really come along in terms of your thinking on the construction of your play. I love the fact that the play has EATEN you - know what I mean? It's living and alive and you want it - you need it - to be good, to speak, to sing.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm not sure what your difficulty is. What you've written seems like an ending. Are you talking about problems BEFORE the ending?