School
It starts in a couple days.
I am a fan of school. I like the idea more than i like actually going. Kids who
hate school, or are constantly putting it down are idiots. They don't even hate
the system in place, which would make their feelings seem more noble, they just
hate the classes in general. Kids who say "I'm not gonna need this when
I'm older" are wrong. I hated chemistry, but imagine a world where only
kids who liked science took chemistry. We already live with a load of idiots,
but if you only had to take the classes you liked then everyone would be beyond
stupid. If I complain about the difficulty of a class, it is just that, a hard
class for me, and nothing else. I'm writing this section last, but it's going
to be first in the post because it's the least controversial. This is basically
a buffer.
The News
I watch an obscene amount
of news. At least five hours a day of MSNBC, excluding this weekend
because i was in Boston helping my sister move in. Sometimes I'm just playing
computer games as it is playing in the background. I've learned so much this
summer. And so much of what I've learned has been little things. The news,
especially liberal news, is a physical representation of the life, and the
people I want to be around. My favourite host is Melissa Harris Perry. Her show
plays on weekends from ten to twelve. She is a college professor, and I respect
that line of work, and I haven't seen any other news show host have another job
that is being a teacher; most just have radio shows or write for a column or blog.
I wanna be her friend. I wanna talk to her about Syria and race and I want to
be her when I grow up. A true intellectual. And then there are the idiots that
inhabit the liberal news. There is a show called The Cycle, where a bunch of
young news people sit around a table and talk about the news. Ever since the
slightly conservative girl with the glasses left, the show is void of any real
debate. And these kids to the news world are so stupid sometimes. They would
spend hours talking about why the republicans are awful people for disapproving
of Obamacare, when the majority of American don't know how the plan works.
Still, I learn a lot. Things that you can't really learn in a text book. I
learned that liberal news tries to be too liberal. The only new faces of news
shows on MSNBC are from some minority. The white, well built, old fashion news
caster, just happens to be gay. I can have a serious future in the news if this
trend continues. Think about it. I'm so many minorities put together. I'm
hispanic. I'm gay. I'm an atheist. I only hope that when I'm older, I'll be
smarter than to make my minority status put a bias on the issues that matter to
me. The economy is number one. Raising the minimum wage and fixing the
income inequality. Then it's international relations. Making
sure that we are friends with the rest of the human on earth, and pushing for a
better world for everyone. And then it's education. Public schools need to be
managed differently, and that will also help the income gap. And lastly it's everything
else. All the social issues. Gay rights, immigration reform, voter rights,
religious freedom. It's all important, the latter section, but I care more
about the first part, and every other liberal mind should as well. The party is
based on a different idea on how to treat people. Conservatives fight for the
businesses that try to undermine the people so they can make bigger profits,
and socially they are only very mean because the people that they are able to
convince to follow them are normally those who don't have
the greatest education and are socially intolerant. Latinos are
conservative. We LOVE Jesus. We HATE gays. But we vote for Obama because the
white guys in Arizona and Texas tell us to go home, and those white guys happen
to be republican. I am a true liberal. I care about the people, and that they
get the things they need more than I care about the profits of a Wall Street
jerk. I also understand that it's important to keep that Wall Street jerk
wealthy and that income inequality is good in smaller amounts, so don't be
calling me a communist.
Last Night
***WARNING***
This post is not meant to
insult. I'm writing the thoughts in my head. Also, drugs, alcohol and sex are
mentioned. Reader discretion is advised.
Last night my sister took
me to an exclusive fraternity party, on account that she is dating
the president of that frat. Apparently because she is dating the
president, that makes her the queen. I will never understand the college greek
system. There is a rule that during rush week all of the frat parties must be
dry, which is why my sister didn't resist as much when I asked to go. Being
sober at a party where you feel the vibrations of the speakers more than you
can hear the music isn't something that I'd make a habit of. I don't think that
I could ever have fun at one of those events unless my mind was at a point
where I wasn't aware of my own actions, and that I had more options of whom I
could grind with. This black, short girl tried to grind with me. I could tell
that she had pre-gamed significantly because you have to shitfaced to try and
dance with the faggot awkwardly shaking in the corner. But maybe she was
genuinely attracted to me, and maybe she thought that because the majority of
the fraternities in Boston don't attract my kind, I was just some hipster who
happened to dress a little queer one night. At a certain point I left the dance
floor and tried to hide in the couch. The experience was weird. The party
was dry, so it wouldn't be logical for me to pass out for more than a couple
minutes, and I had the fear that someone would kick me out for taking up space
in a party that had a line to enter. The couch smelled like semen, which is a
scent that i can honestly say that I enjoy, when it's not my own, and so I
tried to enjoy that as I looked at the borded up french window that would have
the silhouettes of dancing people every other microsecond as the lights
flashed. A couple, or what seemed like a couple,
was vigorously making out in the couch closer to the window. I personally
cannot make out with someone for an extended period of time, my max is about
two minutes. I just don't get what you're supposed to do and why it is supposed
to be pleasurable. My sister and her friend returned, they were wet with sweat
and other people's sweat. We left, and my sister stayed behind to talk with her
boyfriend who was manning the door, greeting his new acolytes and
acolyte hopefuls as they entered the party. They're having problems apparently.
I waited, for about half an hour, sitting on the sidewalk with Zoë, another
theatre major, who is more interesting, and has a better music taste than my
sister. We talked, mostly about me, and my thoughts about college life versus
my own social life now as we watched the drunken freshman walk by on their
first, or second, night of college level partying. I talked to Zoë about my own
views on parties like this. I realized, after being the first person who lost
in the "have you ever" party game, that I'm not as innocent as I
would have wanted to be, and that maybe my sister and I aren't as different as
I thought we were. But going to this party, and seeing these types of people,
and what is entertaining to my sister reassured me that my sister and
I are very different people. I told Zoë about my life since the last time we
had talked, approximately a year ago, and how my
more adventurous side had grown, and how even though I've been a
little promiscuous and dabbled with light drugs like my sister did in
her sophomore year, I'm not going to be like her. The times when I've
smoked and drank it was never at a party, it was talking to another smart
person while we listened to Nirvana or something. And when I'd fool around with
a guy, it was innocent, and I'd cherish the memory, and in some cases,
fantasize about getting married and starting a family with him. I don't crave
grinding up with some anonymous person at a party while my mind is fucked
up, and I certainly don't crave having that anonymous person's dick inside of.
Does this make me a better person? And why do I feel the need to separate
what I've done to what my sister does? Is her lifestyle bad? She gets good
grades, is far from building any type of addiction, and is faithful to her
boyfriend.
I worked this summer with a
woman from a time when being an artist and doing drugs was something that was
given. I doubt she was like my sister, but I know that she probably did much
harder drugs than Viviana, and that she probably was so concerned with being
sexually careful, given her community of friends and the time she was in. But
am I supposed to think less of her? And what of the straight edge people? The
ones who have been "innocent" for their entire lives but offer little
in intellectual stimulation or bully those who aren't like them? Are they the
crown jewels of society, just because they follow the rules? Why can't that
smoker in the alley, or the girl who has had a pregnancy scare be
that champion of humanity? Some of the smartest people I've met have been
stoners. I've also met some pretty dumb stoners, but that's exactly the point
that I'm trying to make. Why does the world and the lifestyle that we live in
constitute our worthiness to others? To hate someone because they have smoked
seems unreasonable, and to look down upon them is just as bad. A slut can be a
good person just as a sober can be a bitch.
I judge people on one
scale, that is, weather or not you can provide intellectual stimulation. If you
tell me things I don't and push me to be smarter. Take all the drugs you want,
have all the sex your genitals can take, I don't care, but keep me interested
and I'll like you. And the more you can challenge me, the higher you are on my
scale.
